


Missing Moments - Blindspot Season Four

by IndelibleEvidence



Category: Blindspot
Genre: Blindspot Episode Tags, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-10-29 22:03:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17816321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IndelibleEvidence/pseuds/IndelibleEvidence
Summary: A collection of episode tags and canon-fixes for season four of Blindspot. Each chapter is a new fic, and none of these fics will be getting a continuing second chapter. Most, if not all, entries here will be Jeller.





	1. Much-Needed Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeller-centric episode tag to 4x11.

"Kurt."

Jane's voice carried the barest hint of an edge, and he turned immediately to find her standing in the doorway that led from the balcony back into the apartment. "What's wrong?"

Jane sighed and crossed to stand in front of him, her arms loosely draped over his shoulders. "What's wrong is that this is the fourth time since we came back from Dr. Roga's place that I've seen you frowning into space, blaming yourself for not saving those test tubes."

Kurt closed his eyes, letting out his breath slowly as he reminded himself to be strong for his wife. She'd been the one bolstering his mood today, but she was the one who was dying. "Sorry," he said, opening his eyes to find her watching him with concern. "I'll stop. Old habits, I guess."

He didn't need to mention Taylor for her to get his drift. She cupped the back of his neck in the palm of her hand, pulling his head down to rest her forehead against his. "I don't blame you even a tiny bit for this. If anyone deserves blame, it's me—for letting my post-Remi self-confidence crisis deprive you and Patterson of backup."

The notion that she'd blame herself hadn't occurred to him. "No, Jane. Anyone would be feeling uncertain, after everything you've had to deal with."

She smiled and kissed the tip of his nose. "I won't blame myself if you don't blame _your_ self. Deal?"

"Deal." Kurt gazed down into her face, wondering if she could really be as calm and relaxed as she seemed. Remi had closed herself off, been secretive and argumentative, but rather than collapsing into tears, Jane almost seemed to have accepted her potential death. That worried him. "How are you holding up?"

"Headache's better than it has been in a few hours." Her smile faded a little, though it didn't disappear entirely. "That's the best I can hope for, I guess."

"You need to talk? About the ZIP? Remi's memories? Anything?"

Jane shook her head, her smile returning as she shifted a little closer. "I didn't come out here to give you something new to worry about, Kurt."

Recognising her body language even before her gaze dropped to his lips, Kurt gathered her closer and nuzzled her jaw. "Yeah? What _did_ you come out here for?"

"To stop you from thinking so hard." Her voice held a slight note of amusement, and he couldn't help but smile against her mouth. One gentle, lingering kiss transformed into a second, needier collision of their lips, and she tugged at the front of his shirt as they recovered from it. "Come inside, Kurt."

He was more than happy to follow that suggestion, turning her in his arms and kissing the side of her neck as he navigated the few small steps back into the living room. "Yes, ma'am."

By the time they reached the bedroom, he'd completely forgotten what he'd been thinking about before Jane had come to distract him.


	2. Hopes and Fears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Episode tag to 4x12 - Jeller.

"Agent Weller? Are you awake?"

Kurt opened his weary eyes at the vaguely familiar voice, then immediately straightened in his chair. "Dr. Roga. Did—?"

The scientist nodded, sparing him the need to ask the rest of the question. "I synthesised the cure the moment the Stanton cells were brought in. Jane's neurologist has it now, and they're setting up for her treatment. They'll be here any minute now."

For the first time in days, Kurt felt a flare of real optimism. He hadn't dared to believe in Rich's so-called 'Book of Secrets'—he'd been too afraid to get his hopes up, especially since Roman had been unable to solve the map on his data cache. Now that Jane's cure was in the hands of her doctors, he finally let that hope begin to lift his spirits.

"Thank you so much," he told Dr. Roga, squeezing Jane's cold hand, then rubbing it between his own hands to try to transfer some warmth. Since her body's involuntary functions had begun to struggle, she'd been bundled up in a robe and extra blankets to keep in as much heat as possible.

Jane stirred, but didn't wake. He wasn't sure she could even muster the energy to stay conscious anymore. In case she could hear him, he told her, "Jane, Dr. Roga's here with your cure. You're gonna be fine. Just hold on a little longer, okay?"

Dr. Roga approached the bed, her expression regretful. "I'm just sorry she ended up like this in the first place."

Kurt shook his head. "We don't blame you. Really."

Before either of them could continue, Jane's neurologist and a nurse joined them in the room.

"Mr. Weller, we're going to take Jane to the operating theatre now." The neurologist, whose name was Dr. Evans, reminded him a little of Emma Shaw. She was comforting but practical, and was wasting no time right now in helping the nurse strip away the blankets from Jane's unconscious form.

Kurt reluctantly released his wife's hand and stepped back to give them room to work. "Is it possible for me to go with her?"

Dr. Evans shook her head with a quick smile. "I'm sorry. We'll need to inject the cells directly into Jane's brain, which means we'll need to gain access to the back of her skull. The procedure won't take too long, but I will have to ask you to remain here for now. We'll keep you updated, but time is of the essence."

Kurt bit down on the urge to protest, watching them transfer Jane from the bed to a stretcher. They were gone within a minute, leaving him to anxiously wait for news.

Dr. Roga sat on the edge of the empty bed as Kurt returned to his chair. "Don't worry. It's not as scary as it sounds."

"They'll be drilling into the back of her skull?" Kurt asked, a little lightheaded at the thought.

"Yes. The cure will need to go directly into the brain in order to be effective. It's not a risky procedure. If not for the skull getting in the way, it would be a simple injection." Dr. Roga reached over and patted his shoulder. "I know you're worried, but Jane's chance of survival is good once the cure's been administered."

"And her senses?" Kurt tried to sit still and be calm, but the separation from Jane felt wrong. "Will she get her vision back?"

Dr. Roga sighed. "I wish I could tell you. It all depends on Jane's brain, I'm afraid. It won't be immediate, but once the cells do their job, if all goes well…"

Kurt tried not to imagine how devastated his wife would be if her blindness was permanent. At least she'd be alive. _Please, let her live._

"They don't need you in the operating theatre?" he asked.

Dr. Roga smiled. "No. I'd be like a spare part in there. I'm a biochemist, not a surgeon or nurse. There's nothing more I can do."

"Right." He would have put that together himself, if he hadn't been so exhausted.

"Take a break, Agent Weller. I'd tell you to sleep, but I know you won't, not until your wife is cured. But go take a walk outside, or get something to eat. Jane is in good hands."

"I guess I'll go outside, stretch my legs a little." He stood up, and Dr. Roga rose too. "Thank you. For everything," he told her.

"You're most welcome. Give me a call in a couple of days; let me know how things went." She gave him a quick smile, then left the room.

* * *

After a quick bathroom break, Kurt headed outside and stood in the sunshine. Summer was fading and fall drawing in, but it was still fairly warm outside. He leaned against a pillar and closed his eyes, trying to enjoy the warmth on his skin.

Dr. Roga seemed optimistic about Jane's chances, but Dr. Evans' urgency spoke volumes. Kurt was too anxious to contemplate eating or sleeping, his mind playing back his last couple of conversations with Jane.

She'd started talking about her death as though it were inevitable—saying that she wished she could see him one last time, and that she would always love him. Remembering the way she'd clung to him and cried brought tears to his eyes again, and he brushed them away with the back of his hand, breathing deeply. _Don't fall apart, Weller. Not now._

His memory kept serving him heart-wrenching moments, however. Jane had briefly woken from her exhausted sleep a couple of hours ago to tell him again that she loved him, and the words she'd struggled to form had made him despair.

> " _Promise me you won't blame yourself for my death."_
> 
> " _Don't give up, Jane," he'd pleaded softly, kissing her hand. "You have to fight."_
> 
> "' _s okay," she'd murmured, almost under her breath. "If this is it, then at least I had this time as Jane. To make up for all the awful things I've done. I'm so grateful to have you in my life, Kurt. You made me the happiest woman in the world…even if we didn't have much time."_
> 
> _He'd fought back a sob, not wanting her to know how close to weeping like a child her words had made him. "There's still time. There's still hope."_
> 
> " _Don't let this eat you up inside…the way Taylor did. I…want you to move on with your life. Remember me and smile."_
> 
> " _I love you so much, Jane. Stay with me."_
> 
> _She'd been fading again, barely conscious as her lips moved. "Love you."_

Kurt realised he was crying again, silently sobbing with conflicted grief. Had he done the right thing by asking her to fight, by refusing to have a conversation about what would happen after her death? Or had he just made it more difficult for her, made her worry about him instead of setting her mind at ease?

He refused to entertain the idea that she'd die, not now that the doctors were preparing to inject Jane with a cure. He just couldn't. Whether it was optimism or unhealthy denial, he had to keep hoping for a future with the love of his life.

* * *

Jane had been unconscious for the past four hours. Since the cure had been administered, a little of the colour had returned to her face, but she hadn't yet woken up. Dr. Evans had reassured Kurt that Jane's brain needed time for the cure to do its job, and that she'd wake up when she was ready, but he couldn't help but worry.

An IV kept her hydrated, and there was a sensor clipped to her finger to monitor her pulse, but she was breathing on her own, albeit with the help of a nasal cannula that delivered extra oxygen. Dr. Evans had explained that if things had gotten any worse, they might have had to put Jane on a ventilator, but the cure had dissipated the remaining traces of ZIP fairly quickly, halting the degeneration of her condition. She was going to live. The Stanton cells would hopefully do the rest, restoring the function lost.

He'd briefly spoken to Patterson, who was now en route back to the States with Rich in tow. She'd expressed relief that Jane would live, sounding a little choked up. Kurt knew the feeling. He still couldn't quite believe it himself.

Reade was in meetings for another couple of hours, but Kurt had texted him the good news. It seemed too soon to let anyone else know what was happening—they'd have questions about her condition that he couldn't answer yet.

_She's gonna live. That's the most important thing._

Even if the cure didn't restore her vision, and her body had trouble with energy regulation and mobility, at least she would be alive. She'd find it hard to adjust, but Jane was strong. She'd adapt to her new reality and he'd be right there with her, supporting her every step of the way. He just hoped it wasn't necessary.

Jane's fingers twitched, and Kurt looked up, watching his wife for signs of consciousness. "Jane?"

Her eyelids fluttered, and she turned her head towards him. "Hmmm?"

"How are you feeling, baby?"

She frowned a little as she cracked open her eyes, then blinked a couple of times, her eyes still unfocused. "Things feel…easier. What happened?"

He squeezed her hand, smiling a little. "The cure got the ZIP out of your system. You're gonna live, Jane."

She gave a small, gasping sob and squeezed his fingers so tightly, it hurt. That was a good sign—she'd barely been able to hold his hand before. "I'm cured?"

"Yeah." His heart swelled as a genuine smile blossomed on her face, even as a tear ran down her cheek, He smiled back, wishing she could see it.

For a moment, Jane was speechless, absorbing the good news. Then she burst into tears, and he was unsure if they were born of happiness, stress relief, or disappointment at her lack of vision. He sat on the edge of the bed and held her, a few tears of his own slipping free as she sobbed in his arms.

"It's okay," he murmured to her. "It's gonna be okay now."

"I don't even know why I'm crying," she confessed, trying to calm down. "All my emotions feel muddled. And I… I still can't see."

"That doesn't mean anything. We've gotta give the Stanton cells time to do their magic, okay? Dr. Evans said it would take a little while."

Jane took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. "Okay. I guess we just wait and see, then."

Kurt kissed the top of her head gently. "No matter what happens, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know." Jane reached over to take his hand, and pulled it to rest over her heart. "Neither am I."

Her heart beating steadily against his palm, Kurt closed his eyes, fighting another wave of exhaustion. A few minutes later, Dr. Evans had to gently wake him up so that she could check on her patient.

* * *

"Kurt, I can… I can see you!" Jane clutched his arm in excitement, her gaze still unfocused, but resting on his face for the first time in a couple of days. "Not that clearly, but it's so much better than it was."

Relief crashed into him in a wave. "Really? You can see my crooked smile now?" he teased.

"I could see it better if your face was closer."

Kurt shifted position until his face was just a couple of inches from hers. "That close enough?"

Jane cradled his face in her hands, gazing at him as though he was the most beautiful thing she'd ever beheld. "I was afraid I'd never see this face again," she whispered.

"I'm right here," he told her, committing the subtle joy in her expression to memory. He never wanted to forget this moment.

Jane leaned forward and kissed him, and he could almost taste her relief on her lips. He returned her kiss with one of his own, then drew back to watch her.

She opened her eyes again immediately, her smile growing. "It's getting clearer. I don't know how much better it will get, but at least…" She trailed off with a shrug, still gazing at his face.

"Maybe you should close your eyes again, give them a rest while your brain is fixing itself up?" Kurt suggested.

Jane stifled a yawn. "I do kind of need to nap again," she admitted. "Wake me up if Rich and Patterson get here, okay?"

He gave her a quick peck on the lips, then sat back in his chair. "I will."

* * *

"This is excellent progress." Dr. Evans said.

Holding onto Kurt with one hand and her IV pole with the other, Jane had managed to take four steps away from the bed. Her vision was still blurry, and the doctor had theorised it would take a couple more days to recover completely. Still, Dr. Evans wanted Jane to test her balance and motor skills a little more.

"Do you think you could make it around to the side door, to stand outside for a few minutes?"

Kurt began to protest, but Jane interrupted, "I'll try."

Leaning on Kurt a little every now and then, Jane made her way out of the room and down the hall. Her determination was palpable, and Kurt tried to curb his anxiety that she was ignoring her body's signals and overdoing it. Dr. Evans followed, observing her slow but steady progress and reassuring them both that she wasn't in any danger of collapsing.

Once they were outside, and he'd helped Jane sit down on a nearby bench, Dr. Evans smiled. "I'll leave you out here for a little while. When you're ready, Jane, just head back to your room, all right?"

Kurt sat beside his wife as the doctor left. "You feeling okay?"

Jane rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. I'm a little tired and shaky, but that's temporary. I'll be fine, Kurt."

"Told you that you could beat this." He brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, smiling down at her.

"Because of you," Jane said, her expression serious. "You didn't give up on me for a second. I'm so glad to have you in my life."

Kurt kissed her forehead gently, then blinked, his attention caught by a familiar couple of figures as they disappeared into the building. "Looks like you have visitors. Rich and Patterson just went inside."

Jane got to her feet immediately. "Let's not keep them waiting. They've already done so much for us."

Kurt put his arm around her, and they steadily retraced their steps, drawing strength from each other.

No matter what came their way, they'd handle it. Together with their team, they were unstoppable.


	3. Hold Me Responsible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tag to 4x16.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of AU in that I decided to make Jane stay home after her session with Borden - because nobody goes from agoraphobia to totally able to work within the space of one day. I get that they wanted Jane back in the field so she could be kidnapped, but...ugh. I really wish they'd had Dominic snatch her the next day or something.

The apartment was too quiet when Kurt returned from work, feeling much lighter for having helped arrest Madeline Burke. Her second-in-command, Dominic Masters, was still in the wind, but it was only a matter of time before he showed up again.

Reade and Zapata were taking point on the interrogation, but Kurt had wanted to check on Jane, so he’d told them he’d take off early and take a run at the billionaire tomorrow. After quickly checking on Patterson—she’d been so calm in the face of his news about Jane going to see Borden earlier, it almost had him worried she was hiding her true feelings—he’d headed for home.

“Jane?” he called, casting a glance around the living room and kitchen. Her jacket was strewn over the back of the couch and her keys were in the key bowl, so she was definitely home, but she didn’t answer.

Not that he was surprised. Over the past few days, since the Cameron Gibbs case, Jane had seemed to be trying to take up as little space in her own life as possible, only speaking when it was clear he wasn’t going anywhere.

Worry gnawing at his mind, he went into the bedroom, and his heart sank. Jane was curled up in bed in the foetal position, fresh tear-tracks on her cheeks and wet spots on the pillow. She was facing the door, but she didn’t open her eyes or move at all when he came in.

“Hey,” he said gently, sitting on the edge of the bed.

She opened her eyes, but didn’t speak, clearly exhausted and miserable. Kurt had no idea what might have happened with Borden, and he hoped like hell the bastard hadn’t taken the opportunity to screw with Jane’s head further.

“We got Madeline,” he said, wanting to buoy her up with some good news before they started talking about her afternoon.

Jane’s eyes widened a little, and she rubbed a hand across her face. “That’s great,” she said, her voice scratchy from crying. “Is she talking?”

“Not yet. Tasha and Reade are still working on her.” He took Jane’s hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of it. “How’d it go at the prison?”

Jane sat up slowly, and he shifted a pillow behind her back to make her more comfortable against the padded headboard. As she settled back against it, Kurt kicked off his shoes and sat beside her, quietly waiting for her to speak.

Instead, Jane burst into tears, covering her face with both hands.

“Oh, Jane…” He pulled her against him and stroked her hair as she cried harder, her body shaking with sobs. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he murmured soft words of comfort, hoping like hell that they didn’t turn out to be lies. _It’ll be okay. We can get through this._

“I’m so sorry, Kurt,” Jane half-whispered as her tears began to subside. “If I could take it back…”

He was lost now, unable to follow her train of thought. Was she stuck in a Remi memory of something he didn’t know about, or was she apologising for something he’d already forgiven her for?

“What happened with Borden?” he asked, wanting to get a sense of what had put her into this state of distress. “Did he send you away?”

“No.” Jane leaned over and grabbed the box of tissues from the nightstand, trying to recover her composure. “No, he was exactly who I needed to talk to. He was the one who did this to me, so he was the right one to fix it.”

Her words surprised him. From her misery, he’d expected things had gone badly. And what did she mean, Borden had ‘done this’ to her? Done _what_?

“Jane, you’re gonna have to help me out here,” he said gently. “I wasn’t there today. Fill me in.”

She took a shuddering breath and nodded. “The therapist this morning, the one you recommended…he said that I was scared to go out because Remi’s rage was conflicting with my remorse, like a clash of my two different selves.”

“Okay.” That made a weird kind of sense—

“He was wrong.”

Kurt frowned. “Borden had another theory?”

Jane stared down at their joined hands, her shoulders tense. “You were there in some of my early therapy sessions with Borden. You heard him talk about how I was a clean slate when I came out of the bag, that whoever I was before, that didn’t have to define who I am now.”

“Yeah, I remember.”

She looked up at him with a kind of bleak resignation. “Borden lied. He needed me focused on my mission, not struggling to come to terms with what I remembered about my past. So he made me believe Remi and Jane were two different people, even before I knew about who I really was.”

“But you _are_ —” he started, feeling as though he’d been kicked in the chest.

“No. Kurt, I know this is gonna be a process for both of us. But I have my memories back now. I remember everything I did, and the way my mind was working when I made those decisions. I don’t have a split personality. The only thing that’s different about Jane and Remi is the memories that influenced me at the time.”

Kurt’s mind scrambled to piece together what she was saying. “Borden has to be angry at the way we put him in prison. He could be saying his old words are lies because he wants to hurt you more.”

“No.” Jane turned on the bed to face him, watching him sadly. “I’m one person. I was the one who stole photos of you and Taylor from your dad’s house. I was the one who replaced Taylor’s DNA with mine. Shepherd was the one who told Roman to kill Emma Shaw, but I didn’t try to stop it. I didn’t care if she died, Kurt. But I am so, so sorry about it now.”

 _No_ , his mind insisted. _That was Remi, and you’re Jane. My wife would never do those things. I could never love someone who looked the other way while Emma..._

He only realised that he was shaking his head when she continued, “I know it’s a lot to accept, but since I stopped trying to blame Remi for Jane’s problems, I can breathe again. It might take a little while for me to get my head on straight, but at least things are clearer now.”

Kurt took a deep breath, reminding himself of how she’d been struggling over the past few days, and how much less lost she looked now. The shame and regret were still there, though. He couldn’t even imagine how it felt.

“What do you need from me?” he asked, focusing on what he could do, instead of the denial still resonating through his mind.

Jane sighed. “I guess… When I talk about something I did back then, don’t try to tell me I didn’t do it, that it wasn’t my fault, it was Remi’s. Because I _did_ do it, and it _was_ my fault. No matter how much I hate it. And I can blame Shepherd for raising me this way, sure, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t make my own choices. I have to face that.”

“That’s a lot of weight to carry,” he said, understanding now why she looked so exhausted. “I don’t want you to get crushed under it.”

Jane gave a small shrug. “I was. Before I went to see Borden, I couldn’t even function. You saw what I was like this morning. But he made me look at what I wanted to accomplish with the awful things I did. My goals then and my goals now aren’t so different. I just wanted to right what was wrong in the world, only I thought the ends justified the means back then. But you made me see that they don’t, and I’m so, so grateful, Kurt.”

Tears coming to her eyes again, she lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it. “I know this is a lot. Asking you to forgive me…to forgive the person you thought of as Remi. You forgave Jane for everything, I know. But does it make a difference, knowing that I’m not just Jane or Remi? That I’m both?”

As he gazed at her, gathering his thoughts, she stared down at her lap. “If…if you need some distance or some time to think, I’ll understand. If you want me to go…”

His heart overruled his head, as it always had done with her. No matter what she’d done after they’d met, he’d always forgiven her, whether it was colluding with Oscar behind his back or cheating on him in Europe. She’d done so many terrible things before she’d taken the ZIP—but it was in the past now, and over the past few years, she’d shown him her determination to fight for justice was unparalleled.

Kurt leaned forward and kissed her forehead tenderly. “I told you not long after we met that whoever you used to be, that’s not who you are now. I still think that. I know what you did before the ZIP, and I don’t like it, but it’s over. The past is the past, and you’ve changed for the better. That’s why I fell in love with you, and it’s why I’ll keep loving you every day, for the rest of our lives.”

Jane sobbed with relief and threw her arms around him. “Thank you.”

He gathered her closer to him, closing his eyes. No matter what she’d done, no matter how much Remi’s… _Jane’s_ past actions had manipulated and wounded him, he couldn’t be without her. He’d tried, while she’d been on the run from the bounty hunters, and it had been more than he could bear. Did holding her responsible for more of her past make a difference to that? Sure, every now and then it would hurt to think about, but not any more than trying to live without her.

He remembered how, after Roman’s defection back to Sandstorm, Jane had agonised over whether she would one day do the same thing. Whether she would return to Shepherd and shun the FBI. He’d told her then that he knew her heart, and that wasn’t who she was. Kurt still believed that. With the ZIP gone from her system and her memories of her time with the FBI clear in her mind, there wasn’t anything in the world that could make Jane return to terrorism.

“I still know your heart, Jane. This doesn’t change a thing.”

“I’m so lucky to have you.” Jane clung to him even tighter. “I don’t deserve you.”

He hushed her as more of her tears dampened his shirt—tears of relief and catharsis rather than despair. It was obvious she was still in the grip of her guilt and pain, and it would take a lot of time and mental adjustment for both of them to come to terms with this new way of thinking. But they were together, and they had each other. That was all they needed.


End file.
